Blending a family: Ceremony tips

Many couples with children opt to include rituals that symbolize blending their families. Here are some ideas for how to include your children in the ceremony.

• A popular way to do this is bringing the children up during the ceremony so that the new stepparent can say additional vows to their stepchild(ren) after the couple’s vows.

• Some couples opt for visual rituals. Each member of the family can bring up a different type of flower and puts it in a vase, creating a bouquet. Some couples choose to do this with favorite candy being poured into a jar and shaken up, or others with colored sand being mixed together, but the ritual itself is more or less the same. It symbolizes the diversity the individuals who are coming together to create a new family unit.

• Each adult and child could add their handprint to a canvas that says “family” (but be sure there is someone standing by to roll up sleeves and wipe paint off of hands).

• An especially crafty couple could have helped each child pick out fabric for a quilt and on the day of the wedding, present the blended family quilt to the children. Quilts like this can be commissioned as well if you’re not particularly crafty, but like the idea of a blended family blanket in your living room for years to come.

Whether your blended family ritual ends up being words, visuals, or keepsakes, including your children in your wedding ceremony can go a long way to making them feel included in the day and in the family.